Just when you thought you’d seen the last of me….I come back smiling! :)

Welp, I’ve been drawn back into the exciting realm of Normaliciousland!  I realized that it’s just selfish of me to try to keep all of my random thoughts to myself.  Plus, I think that my sanity may benefit from the public release of my inner madness.  So basically this blog is my own form of therapy…cheap unsupervised therapy!  :)

Lately I’ve realized that there’s something special about most of the women I’m drawn to as friends.  The majority of them have witty sarcastic personalities (which is like heroin to me, BTW) and this makes for a much more enjoyable conversation…even through a text.  Oh…and I bought new pillows!  :)  I know that’s kinda off subject, but I don’t have a lot of things to get excited about…AND THEY’RE SO FLUFFY!  :D

I also got a new HP laptop to replace my old HP laptop.  Mainly because the old one had a few keys missing (which limited the words I could use when writing) and sounded like it had an old “Diesel Class” processor running it!  lol  But it WAS about 10 years old though…in human years…i’m not sure what that would be in dog years.  I also had a puppy dog for a few weeks.  She just showed up at the house one day and decided I would be her agent to find her a new home.  She was a neat puppy.  I named her “Hey don’t bite!”  :)

There was also a lot of other things that happened over the last few months, but none of them were “happy wanna share with the public” things, so I guess I’ll end with a song!

 

                                                             A SONG!  ;) 

 

 

Feet don’t fail me now!!!

If I could use my feet like extra hands I’d probably use them to climb things more easily, or perhaps just hang by my feet like a bat or something.   I don’t think I’d use them to eat with…that’s just gross…they’re still feet, ya know…even if you CAN use them like hands!  So that means that you’re still going to have to use them to walk on at some point…unless you decide to just change things up and walk on your hands instead…which would be pointless, because then you wouldn’t want to use your hands to eat with because they’d be like feet and you have feet for that…wait…now I don’t see a point in having feet like extra hands unless there was some sort of farming accident.  

This post made my head hurt and I’m not real sure about how I’m gonna eat my lunch now!  BE SAFE…DON’T FARM!!!

In my head, yo!

“Oh no you didn’t?”  

“Oh yes I did!”  

“Fo real?”  

“Fo sho!”  

“Shut yo mouth!”  

“True story!”  

“Aight!”

This is the little conversation in my head when I surprise myself by doing something that I didn’t think I could do!  (I’m so urban!)  lol  :)

Remember me!

It’s a good idea to go ahead and check the little box that says “Remember me” when you go to log in to your blog.  Especially when you have a wandering mind and memory issues!  LOL!

Normaliciousland is once again open!  Woo freakin’ hoo!!!  :)

The adventures of Cannonball and Normalicious! :)

As I was sitting outside this morning watching the sunrise and enjoying the quiet of country living, I heard the limbs of a nearby tree creaking as if they were about to break.  I looked up to see a squirrel jumping from limb to limb, but this was no ordinary squirrel.  This was a little fat squirrel!  And he had apparently decided to store all of his food for this winter in his belly.  The immense weight of his fluffy roundness was causing the limbs to dip down much farther than they were used to, which made them catapult him to and fro all around the tree.  I must say…it was making for quite the amusing morning show!  :) 

After a few minutes of silent observation, I hollered up to him “Hey there, little fat squirrel!  Whatcha doin?”  And he said “What’s it look like I’m doing, ya freakin’ moron?  I’m a squirrel, so I’m playing in this here tree!”  And I was like “Well, you’re just a hateful little fat squirrel, aren’t you?  :( ”  So then he smiled and says “I love you, Normalicious!”  And I said “Aww, I love y…wait..WHAT?  You’re bi-polar, little fat squirrel!”  And then he had the nerve to say “Umm…you’re talking to a squirrel right now!  Yeeeaaahhh, I’M the one with problems!  OK!”  The only thing I could say after that was “Touche, little fat squrrel…touche!”  

I’ve decided I’m going to name him “Cannonball”, because…well…he looks like a cannonball and he knocked down the walls between man and nature!  HE’S MY BSFF!  :)  

 

The people who take pictures of the people of walmart!

I would like to start a site called “The people who take pictures of the people of walmart!”  It would not only include embarrassing pictures of these people, but it would go much deeper than that….by making fun of their entire life.  Their home, job, family life, perhaps they have a disability or maybe they’ve been raped or molested, or even better maybe they’ve lost loved ones!  Yeah…and then we can just make fun of that and all have a good hardy laugh at their expense!  HAR HARDY HAR HAR!  What?….you don’t think it’s right to do things like that to someone just for your own amusement?   Yeah, neither do I!  Think about how funny it is to know that at any moment someone could take a picture of you or someone you care about and post it on the internet for everyone to laugh at!  How funny would that be?

How I survived without air conditioning!

Setting:  First part of August in Lona Valley, OK during a record-breaking heat spell.

Problem:  The central heat and air unit decides to stop working for 2 days.

Solution:  Called the heat and air company that the unit was purchased from and they sent a service guy out to repair the problem.

Things I learned: 

• I wouldn’t have survived long in the days before air conditioning.
• I don’t like to sweat unless I’m being paid for it or there is someone else involved.
• A frozen bottle of water held to your wrists and neck can cool you down tremendously.
• An open refrigerator door is much more inviting when you don’t have AC.
• The need for a hot meal is drastically reduced when you’re sweating.
• A cold shower works for more than just sexual frustration.
• Heat and air service guys don’t read my blog…and in turn don’t like to be hugged and told “I love you” by a sweaty long-haired guy with cold wrists.
• A frozen water bottle can stop the swelling after being punched in the eye by a heat and air service guy. lol

Just kidding about the last part.  No one was actually harmed in this post and EVERYONE likes to be hugged and told “I love you”.  :)